I had a completely different post planned for this week, but after a good conversation with a great friend, I just had to put these thoughts on a page.
One of my friends was in town for an IKEA run this weekend, so we decided to do a little catching up. Who knew the best conversations could be enjoyed sitting outside on the patio at Chipotle? Certainly not me!
We started with the usual chit chat:
“What’s new with you?”
“How’s life treating you?”
“Blah Blah Blah.”
But somewhere along the line we must have switched gears, because it felt like all of a sudden she was telling me,
“You just have it all together.”
I was legitimately shocked.
Here I am, looking at a woman that I would consider one of my most “put together” friends. And she thinks I have it all together?
Little old me, who had to take mental health leave from work last year?
Who stayed up until 6am Saturday night (Sunday morning??) playing a video game?
Who still struggles financially?
Who can’t find the courage/drive to completely pursue her passions?
I laughed at her words.
“Maybe I’m just good at making it seem like I have it together,” I told her. To which she replied,
“Maybe we all are.”
And of course I knew this, somewhere deep down.
The perfect photos I see on Instagram are only snapshots of that person’s life.
The Twitch Streamers I admire don’t have on their content creator façade 24/7.
The perfect couples I see on Facebook have their fair share of struggles and drama outside of that adorable photo album.
But to hear that someone has looked at me and my life and thought, “wow, she really has it together” really put things into perspective for me.
We’re all just trying to figure it out.
What is “it” even?
Ourselves. Our lives. Our pasts. Our futures.
I’m a big planner. If you take a look inside my Productivity System you’ll find goals for months, a year, even 5 years down the road. But there’s no real way to plan things like that out.
I’m just trying to figure it out.
Those plans and goals will change with time. As I uncover more about myself and who I want to be.
I’ll give you a little insight into me. Into GamerGlo.
I absolutely don’t have everything together.
I struggle every single day to stay positive and motivated and not let my mental disorders have their way with me.
But sometimes they do.
Sometimes I cry and devour a tub of ice cream. Sometimes I don’t get out of bed for hours.
But then I stop. And I get up. It might take hours. Days. Months.
But I do it.
Because I may not have it all together. But I have a general idea of what I want and what that looks like to me. And I have an incredible support system.
And that’s why I started this brand; this community.
Because it’s ok if you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up — even if you’re already grown up.
It’s ok if you completely change your academic or career path.
It’s ok if you’re still exploring who you are and finding out new things about yourself.
It’s ok if you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.
It’s okay if you’re still trying to figure it out.
Because we all are.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.