The Road To Improvement

In my last (my first!) post I talked about my struggles with anxiety and depression.

Well, let’s get a little bit of background:

  • I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 14 years old.
    ​With the help of therapy and medication, I was able to cope with the symptoms and live a life that most would deem “normal.”
  • When I was 18 I went away to college (because who doesn’t nowadays) and I kept up with this regimen. I still went to therapy, just not as often.
  • By age 20, I was going to therapy less and less until my doctors and I agreed that it wasn’t necessary for me anymore.
  • By the time I was 22, I was weened off of my medication and for the first time since I can remember, I felt “fine” on my own. I knew my depression and anxiety were still there, but they weren’t affecting my daily life. I was managing them, and dammit I was doing it well.
  • And that brings us to now, age 25: oh shit.
My depression and anxiety (but mostly my depression) came back full swing and hit me like a ton of fucking bricks.

Now that you’re all caught up, you may be wondering why I’m telling you all of this.
The truth is…I don’t really know.I need to get this off of my chest and shout it into the void; for now, I suppose this is my void.I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not even looking for encouragement. Thought I hope that’s something I can give to someone else out there like me.My depression is not all I am.

So even thought I don’t want to and my depression is telling me I shouldn’t, I’m going to continue to do the things I love. I’m going to keep playing video games and streaming; I’m going to keep working on this website; I’m going to keep working on me.

And maybe I’ll try to improve on some things I’ve let slip in the past, as well.
I’m going to be better.

I’m going to GET better.

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